The Hedgehogs are here


As I began to contemplate these new surroundings, I saw an astonishing thing. Every plant and tree which encompassed the area was suddenly
very much alive! As if nature had gone on to evolve without us. I wiped my eyes as an abandoned tot would have to find out that upon waking,
he had been cast into a caricature from a whimsical book!
A book entitled, "Where the wild things are."

Little faces from out of a Jacek Yerka painting incorporated themselves within the plethora of leaves and bushes, hyperextended from arms of bony branches that seemed to be watching our every move with the utmost of detail! Their eyes were distinctly slanted, never round. Yet,
while they truly had a gremlin-like demeanor, every one of them
appeared to be wickedly smirking, as if they all knew something I didn't.

These ghastly figures, comprised of legions were all but laughing at
their frightened host who stood before them in awe. There were so
many species of these mutant tree dwellers, I could not count for they were innumerable, and how flagrantly they mocked my character! From my standpoint, they appeared to want to laugh, but not before some of
our blood was spilled. From the corner of their eyes they observed me,
as if desperately trying to undermine my stability. In this discriminating
order, I was outnumbered a billion to one.

It felt like I was being watched by a thousand hyena's just waiting for their opportunity to rush in and make the kill. At close proximity, however, I in turn studied them. Such fascinating creatures I thought, as I gazed into the eye of another world. An arid breeze helped motivate their limbs and allowed them to move unrestrained. Full of life and charged with fury that would never cease, they continued their assault on me with persecution.

I would not be brought down by these leviathans, hiding in obscurity of their own doubt. All they can do is peer out at me from lighted shadows cast down to earth from a dusty sky. They could in no way harm me, though they certainly looked menacing enough. To the complete novice standing in these shoes, he or she might find that this world had indeed become maniacally demented! Cloaked in an attentive gaze, they beckon misfortune unto all and with piercing eyes they made each of us feel like we were being slowly dissected. In truth, those wicked eyes were beginning to haunt me.

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Like silent waves through gleaming steel on the down side of a razor sharp combat knife; or the malevolent oculus of a freshly carved Halloween pumpkin, with a growing stare so ferocious it cuts deep into the wafer thin layer of the child's own imagination, to torment him throughout the night.

On delicate wings, what appeared to be a pterodactyl flew over the tree line directly above and released a screech. I was not alarmed by this for this is what I expected. The sane entering the mind of the insane,
only I did not expect it to be this real.

The cartoon strip was alive, and I was in the big leagues now.

Just remember one thing, if anything at all. . .
"Be very careful captain, people get lost in here."

The demonesque forms all around me began chattering in a whisper tone, and they were talking about us. I was so keenly intent on hearing what
they had to say, I attempted to listen to sounds above human levels. Filtering in all the noise around me, I would process and expel any
earthly movements, tree rustling or obligatory remarks unrelated to
or negating my cause. Under no circumstance, whatsoever,
would I let on that I was doing this!

In a state of continual disquietude I was troubled, but with great temerity
and unyielding perseverance, I was able to endure those groping eyes!
Eyes which festered in mischievousness and went way beyond that of
being satirical. I then tried to imagine how an artist could paint such a surrealistic picture, before realizing it was humanly impossible.
 
Then it happened! In the vespertine stillness of the cool night air, one spoke aloud while relaying the message down the line that stretched well into this urban jungle. I heard one of them say to the other "the Hedgehogs are here." Then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning through the forest, a brooding silence fell over the area, and it seemed as if the whole of
Staten Island had just gone into shock.

John wandered about where Pete stood alone, unwavering in his seclusion, whilst I, was now faced with this terrible and dreaded situation. My mind was controlling my emotions, but my emotions were flooded by so many partial thoughts, I could do nothing but watch myself fall deeper and
deeper into an abysmal void of profound recourse.

Like a base jumper without a chute
or a cellist in the middle of the Sahara desert
playing a song for the sun. . . We were losing.

My emotions were now on a steel burner
and apparently, running themselves.

Suddenly, I was shy
Then it was time to fly!
Where would even go?
Nowhere to even know.

Thoughts spawned like efflorescent flowers in an ephemeral field that covered the mind, while a mystique was brewing from within to make
the outside world change into that it was not, by giving it options it
had not before. Everything now appeared to have a very cynical motive. Even the shadows produced by the soft lambency of far away planets tried earnestly to learn our objective. As thought patterns shifted and
illusions became real, emotions were nothing more than a light
flickering in the darkness of a long abandoned movie theatre.

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One wrong move through the branches and we could easily end up with
a very serious laceration to the eye, but one mistake on the tracks and
that could prove to be the end of everything. I tried not to think of these things because these things, we knew from the start. The dangers of the outside world. Now, if we were in the middle of an archery field perhaps or a bad section of the city, for that matter! That would be cause for some dire concern, but I wasn't in any direct danger from other people. It's kind of hard to lose the common sense you're born with, so long as you don't gloat on the absurd for too long a period of time, (((and))) you have the ability to divert your illuded perception, when it begins to string you along. I found it necessary to talk to myself for awhile, just to remind myself where I was and how careful I now needed to be. I would say things to myself like, nice and easy (or) watch your step over there
(or) Just follow my lead. It was kind of like learning your abc's, I thought.

Always Be Careful.

And in the end you wind up laughing about it because everything
is normal again, but how funny was it when you were there and
had to pray for the higher power to save you? Don't think God
isn't watching you at all hours of the day and night, because he is. Believe in him if it suits you but one day you'll learn the truth.
Only a fool goes off to war, without first praying.

Everyone in a gang hurting people. . . GET OUT!
Everyone addicted to drugs. . . GET STRAIGHTENED OUT!
Everyone doing everything they shouldn't be doing. . . THINK!

What people cannot seem to grasp is that the world around them
is nothing more than a big recording device. The only way that recording can be erased is by prayer. Even the most ruthless of
men pay homage to the lord when passing a church. Something
as simple as pulling the wings off a butterfly will eventually
come down to something being destroyed in your universe, and no,
it will not be fair, and yes, you will cry. I can promise you that!
Whether it be the fire that tomorrow brings or the life that the living gives. Everything you do in this life is not without its consequences,
if it is done for the wrong reason. . .

But who listens to old fools?
What the hell do we know anyway?
We were only you once; take it for what it's worth.

No, it wasn't the world around me that drew cause for any real concern.
It was the strange goings on inside, which caused me to hesitate and wonder, the why's and the woe's of my own existence.

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In fact, it was all a play. A play that had gone terribly wrong.
Who was on the string now my puppeteer, said the marionette?

Trying to put my thoughts in order was like trying to untangle an algorithm, it just couldn't be done. I was not at any time filled with devils, I was simply trying to solve an endless riddle. Like waking up in the middle
of the night and opening the bathroom door to find out you're on stage.
Oh, but such soliloquy from this dry mind, left gazing in a vacuous stare! Where voices down in deep dark chambers utter secrets. They've long upheld their end of the bargain. This action, I found to be
my conscience gloating.

All time had stopped during this moment of reckoning, frozen still. That split second of wonder. That discernible flaw which tends to challenge one's own rationality, had, in fact, become the emotion. That splendid
awe is now all that is left of the young man who awoke too soon. The mind becomes stuck in a threshold as the world pulls itself apart, leaving only you to fix the mess. Like a blind man on the moon, I was trying to put a puzzle together with no pieces. There was no reason or reasoning
to be found anymore, I was, in fact, insane.

I heard passages being read from the so-called book of truth, by the bride to her train bearers, who were both dressed better than she was. Glowing with the acumen of life's rich reward, I watched as the book cascaded away along rooftops of lakes and into the pristine shadow of the illuminated quarry. Tossed out like a tattered old scarf was the much coveted 'book of truth' and no, it was no Bible, and now, it has drowned. Score one for the conjugal mind!

When the subconscious mind plays host unto itself creating labyrinths of fear ladened in torment, it serves us wisely to observe and to note, all the rules of the game. For this game is unlike any other. In this game, you are the pawn moving across the chessboard, and every good player knows the pawn cannot win the game. That twisted agenda is Satan's promise. In this world, there is nothing worse; than of that. So play the game correctly and go home with a medal, or would you prefer the alternative?

What now, said the man in the vortex unable to see his legs?

At this point in time, I exist without existing. I can feel my body both grow and die at the same time. In here, we're living on the edge of reason. I had to open that box. I had to see with my own two eyes, what was inside it.
It seemed so harmless, it was only a little puzzle box, but now it's so much more. The real humdinger comes when you finally realize that instead of opening it, it is, in fact, opening you.

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I then began to think of the hippies and their love nests. (Communes) Pinko freaks basking in the same sun as our young men going off to war. People with white picket signs telling you to make love, not war, while flower power and electric Kool-aid tests fueled a generation toward groovy music, utopian writing and brain-numbing decadence. The very last thing we need in today's society are hippies. When a world full
of normal people become psychologically impaired, it's only a matter of time before the persistent usage of mind bending hallucinogen's creates
a fraternity rather than an organization of chosen leaders. A non-working society of social misfits who make up their own rules as they go along, eventually become deranged lunatics running off the cracker into the soup!

The neuronal wiring which comprises the human brain is delicate,
"and that" was now being tampered with from an unknown source.
I was allowing myself to be manipulated by a foreign substance,
while my brain was transposed to that of the will of another.

You could spend your whole life traveling the globe and still not see
the wonders I've witnessed in a single night. Then you could ask me
if it was worth it, and I will tell you no. Should you ask why, I will tell
you that, too. It is because a normal functioning human being was never
meant to be burdened with such terrible afflictions. The likes of which have already been imparted unto the damned.

So how do I solve this dilemma? Could I live the rest of my life in this condition? Certainly not, bolstered the timely old fellow in the far right corner of my cerebellum! If you try to solve it logically, you will go mad for there is no logic in it. The only logical thing to do would be to run, but to run away from monsters is foolish, because they always get you in the end. Some monsters only exist to confound wisdom! This world I have created for myself is not real. Neither is it logical. A pastime perhaps to dwell, but why? To reflect on nothing-matters, is a foolish game. They are everywhere, in every-thing, and they are not going home yet. Do you know anyone who has ever succeeded by running away from a problem? Maybe someone in a witness protection program who has been relocated to another state. That just might be your only exception! You could run forever but you can never hide from yourself, so why try?

I knew it would change me, and yet I did it anyway. I know the dangers
all too well, only I thought it would lead me on a strange and wonderful
path to enlightenment, but I was just not ready. Those damn regrets
seem to follow me around like ravenous wolves.

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If you think of trying to cope with a problem as you would prior to ingestion, you would have quite an awakening for the thought
process changes so rapidly in here and to such a degree, that in the
very end we're all left to re-examine ourselves. When the demon steps
out of the shadows to greet you in the wheatfield, you had better be ready to face your darkest hour, *with sword in hand* or you just might end up having to stay in the dream a little longer. Ever heard of the young man who took too much LSD and turned into an orange? No one can touch him for fear that his skin may bruise, thus turning his pulp into orange juice. When something potentially helpful is used for all the wrong
reasons, nothing good can ever become of it.

Never become careless in disregard for the things that have the most power in this world are the things that cannot even be seen. Be good in
life and be honest in your affairs. In return, the Good Lord will help you with what you need to succeed. So long as (((you))) put forth the greater effort! Rectify your wrong doings and establish a motive for living. Give of yourself if you can, and give unto those who have nothing. Life in itself is relatively easy, so long as we follow the basic guidelines dictated within our society to co-exist amongst each other. Handed down from nature are a set of rules which even the animals must follow to ensure proper living. When they stray from them, they are devoured.

I knew now what needed to be done.

As I stood there contemplating this belief, it was imperative that I move quickly, for I sensed the spirits were getting restless. When there is nothing but confusion in a sea of total calm, the improbable skirmish will account for the last detail.

I extended my arms in an outward manner, whereby trying to exemplify matters by baring my emotions to the wind. Be not alarmed by us, I thought aloud in my head, for we are only here but a moment, and then
we shall leave. Please forgive the intrusion into your world, and be not angry with us who now see your true face. We mean you no harm. Then, like a ray of sunlight through a cloud, all was made well in our new found place! They began conversing peacefully to one another, as if we weren't even there, for a bond of trust it seems had been formed. No longer were we considered a threat to them, and it appeared, they now accepted us
and even seemed to enjoy our company. I felt as though I had made peace with an entire world. I soon said farewell to the tree demons for it was
time for us to move on. This journey would take us well into the morning hours, for as dazed and exhausted as I was, I had the motivation
to go on without stopping indefinitely.

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Inkpop reviews for chapter 25

Beautifully Inked - Very detailed, very pictoresque. The way you write it rather unique, haven't seen it before, actaully. It makes me picture a guy sitting on a rocking chair looking at the world around him with great analization and really just taking it all in. Bravo and well done, mate.

BlakeUrban - This is what I aspire to. Ya got an undeniable gift my man.
Good, Great, Grand!

Drowning.Silently. - Wow your literary style is one of the most unique I've
seen here. It's like I'm in a tunnel of swirling colors and images come flying
toward me..but yet I ghost on through to something else more chaotic or
serene. I do agree that this is a wonderful piece of work, regardless if the teen
community accepts it or not. You described something of this madness and made
it into something tangeable but yet when you reach out, and almost grasp that
tangeability, it falls away and corrodes into something even more brilliant. You've
done an excellent job with this, as well as protraying the mind of the insane.
Awesome, awesome work :)

G G Anderson - Dang your imagery is amazing- really really cool- I will
continue to read and definately will check out the middle chapter- reAlly REally
REALLY good- like I have said before- you are gifted-

Heather Marie Tumbleweed - omg your imagry is so beautiful, but playful,
check out my poem i will leave happy or broken harmony

isabella2296 - The imagery is absolutely, 100% gorgeous. It's also really
incredibly playful with a lightness I just can't put into words (although, judging
by how amazing this is, I bet you can!) I think my favorite line is the very last,
about flickering in the darkness of a long abandoned movie theatre. Just
absolutely incredible, really.

Leigh Fallon - You bring poetry to a completely different level. There is so
much to love here. Every line is a literary masterpiece, full of beautiful imagery
and the deliciously selected words. If I had to name a favourite "Eyes which
festered in mishcieviousness" jumps out at me. I love the playful lightness of
this. Truly gorgeous, our numerous poets on Inkpop will have both an education
and a delightful experience when reading your work. Good luck. Leigh

(The above comment from Leigh was solely for page 120)

Leigh Fallon - This all reads like an out of body experience. You truly have
the most exquiste literary style that just oozes knowledge and experience. Its
slightly bizare too, sort of like falling down the rabbit hole if you know what I
mean, I just never know whats going to pop up next. I get the impression that if
I was reading this after consuming half a bottle of an lushious french red that I
might just be on the same wave length and be able to appreciate it more... do
you get me? Honestly, I don't know if you're going to get the readership you
deserve on here. Its that little bit highbrow and literary, not that teens can't be
high brow and they would (we all could) learn so much from your writing, but I
fear you won't get the praise you deserve. Have you tried posting this in book
form on Authonomy? It might get the recognition over there. But I don't want to
lose you from Inkpop either. Your work is nothing short of brilliant.... I think I'll
open that bottle of wine now, I can then ponder the "efflorescent flowers in an
ephemeral field" while shouting "The hedgehogs are here!" Talk to you later. Leigh

LorynMarie - I LOVE how descriptive you are about the trees, giving them a very imaginative persona. It really drew me in on the first page. (I also like how you split them into pages, that's pretty cool) I haven't read the rest of this book so I really don't know the entire plot or anything, but this chapter is very well written. There were a few places that you could have tightened up the sentences a bit and the book title in the beginning should start with caps I think. Other than that, very well written! -Loryn

Macrae by Nature - I think this is great, one word of advice, maybe thin out
all the adjectives, especially like the word 'delicate' before wings and the words
'efflorescent' and 'ephemeral' While I love people with a good grasp on
vocabulary, I think sometimes a message can be killed by overcluttering it with
adjectives. This is just a beautifuly written page. I think that you are incredibly
talented writer.


MIC - "With a growing stare so ferocious it cuts deep into the wafer thin layer
of the child's own imagination, to torment him throughout the night"---ooo, now
this is really cool!!! Look at me ... I'm already drooling over your work, and it's
the first little bit ...

"The sane entering the mind of the insane"---love it

"Then it happened!"----yes! This is so great!

"One spoke aloud while relaying the message down the line that stretched
well into this urban jungle"---so great!!!

"It seemed as if the whole of Staten Island had just gone into shock"---
Loving this!!!

"My mind was controlling my emotions, but my emotions were flooded by so
many partial thoughts ..." ---so great ... and the rest of the line is so great, too!

"Like a cellist in the middle of the Sahara desert"---hah! So clever!

"emotions were nothing more than a light flickering in the darkness of a long
abandoned movie theatre"---so cool

Every line is crafted so well!!! I am LOVING this!!! There's not an empty spot in
here, so full and moving, and fascinating, captivating ... yes, I could go on. Your
writing is so intelligent ... I love to really think ... and your writing does that for
me. So many clever moments!!! This is great! ~Morgan :)

(((Morgan was the "Top Pick" on inkpop for the month of Jan 2010.
Her book "Shadow Watchers" was recently flagged with a star
and has been reviewed by the Editorial Board of Harper/Collins.
Her work is exceptional and can be labeled, Adventure, Science
Fiction/ Fantasy, Romance. Seventeen year-old Clara Reynolds
has always known someone was watching her. Then the doctors
diagnosed her as delusional.)))


Mirka-Celeste Jamie Branzanti Velasquez - Well done. It's very good but personally I think that you use too many really big and complicated words. I did understand them don't worry , but if you want to reach a greater audience try to think of everyone. Which includes people whose vocabulary might not be as great as mine or yours. Other than that I think it was a brilliant piece of work and I think I would definitely buy this book in a store. Great job.

raeofsunshine56 - The imagery is simply superb! You have truly out done yourself!
As always, I bow down to you sir!

(The above comment from Leigh was solely for page 120)

Rebecca Ryals Russell - Charles, You have an interesting premise here, but it is so buried in words it got lost for me. I've edited the first few paragraphs to give you some idea of how to simplify but say the same thing. Take this as you will, it is simply a critique. My style is spare and to the point, like Hemingway. Parts of this reminded of Poe, so to each his own. Aren't plants and trees already alive? Maybe you need to describe what is 'alive' about them instead of telling us they are 'alive'. Where the Wild Things Are needs caps. I wiped my eyes...-this is very confusing imagery and too long with too many ideas. Try breaking it into 2 or 3 sentences. ...painting incorporated... no comma between. Try this revision: Hyper...branches they seemed....detail. As if they all knew something I didn't they appeared to smirk wickedly despite their gremlin-like demeanor. (remove the eyes part - not needed) Paragraph 3 is way too wordy. Try this rewrite: Legions of these ghastly creatures all but laughed outright. How flagrantly they mocked my character. Innumerable species, these mutant tree dwellers observed me surreptitiously waiting for blood to be spilt. I was outnumbered a billion to one. I stopped reading there but noticed hyenas has no apostrophe and leviathans are giants. I hope this helps or gives you some ideas on how to edit to be less redundant. You want readers to get your ideas so don't weigh them down with words or they'll stop reading. BTW, don't reduce the number of 'big' words you used. Make your audience come up to your level. If the ideas are good enough and the presentation simple, they will read it.

Sofia Araya - this is defenitly very unique! i enjoyed the imagery and could picture everything that was happening. you're style is very different, but i am glad that i read this because i enjoyed it. i do have to agree with Leigh Fallon though about not having the correct type of readers here on this site, meaning that this isn't something i would normally see in the YA section of a book store. -Sofia