1973


It was Friday, February 9th, and the snow had begun to fall towards
the early morning. I can vaguely remember the time being four O' five
as I scuffled tiredly into the bathroom. The incessant throbbing in my bladder, felt like that of a water balloon about to burst! Not wanting to
turn on the light and shock my eyes, I felt for the toilet seat. Lifting it up,
I immediately began peeing. As the steady flow of liquid made its way
into the bowl, I began to think silently, in three short hours from now,
I'll be on the school bus.

Through my bathroom window, I saw a brilliant white sky and snow coming down like soft feathers. Since there was hardly any wind at all,
the snow just sort of fell against the background of three communal streetlights hung perfectly in a row. The old maple tree near the Oberheim's lot was immense. Its thick branches dangled around the second streetlight, where the light's reflection seemed to burn that tree's penumbra into the streets and walkways covered with fallen snow. Just then, a mild breeze came in off the ocean making the snow appear to be falling on a very slight angle. What a magical glow the evening had cast upon the early morning hour, making everything so pure and white in
its awesome setting. How calming it is to watch the snow fall.

After relieving myself, I walked back to my room and crawled into bed once more before looking out my frosty window. I knew she was in there, sprawled across that warm bed with the covers hanging half off. How I wished I could just go over there and pull them all the way up to her chin.
I wanted to make sure she was nice and warm like I was. Touch her lips, and then kiss her gently upon her forehead before leaving. In my mind,
I did it perfectly.

It felt so good to care about someone. . . To love someone.
And the love we had for each other could ignite a star!

As I lay in bed wondering about how much snow would fall, I fell back to sleep where I dreamt, I was in the Old West. The sun was shining brightly as I entered an old saloon and proceeded to walk over to the bar. "Last Stop Saloon" read the hand painted sign that appeared to be nailed straight into the front of the old worn-down house. Inside, people were playing cards in a seedy environment that reeked of old beer. The floors were filthy and the tables were even worse!

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Outside, two men were kicking another man to death. "Best if you drink" said the squirrely bartender caressing a five O'clock shadow. "People's here don't trust a man who dudn't drink. Sign of bad character. Sign of a weak person." I looked around and found these people to be eyeing each other, like they were all looking for a reason to fight. I then began to think that this whole damn town belonged in jail. "This bottle hits the floor 'N yur a dead man." With those words, he slid the bottle down the bar hard and I caught it with a loud slap! Everyone turned around to see me holding it. Thanks. "You mean most obliged." I turned the bottle upside down and took three nice sized gulps before slamming it back down upon the bar. This made everyone go back to what they were doing.

Suddenly, like a vision from Heaven, Harmony begins walking down the staircase dressed in a one piece mauve taffeta gown. In appearance, it was very similar to the types worn with leg-of-mutton sleeves! I yell out her name, but the bartender tells me to hold on. "Trust me, you don't wanna do that." I know her, she's my friend, I say as I make my way across
the room. From out of nowhere, a sheriff by the name of name Minton Barrows had accosted Harmony and would not let go of her wrist.
"Please let go of me!" she screamed, but no one paid her any mind.
I stepped in and put my gun under the man's ear. "Easy there fella he said laughing!" Oh, I wouldn't laugh if I were you I said, sounding like a very spry Clark Gable, who would have been 72 this year. Just move along Sheriff. "I can't do that, ya see, I own this girl." Owned, I believe is the proper terminology, I said in no uncertain words. The girl belongs to me now. "You're really not hearing me now, are ya?" I then cocked back the hammer of the gun with my thumb until it engaged with a loud click.

When I tell you that place emptied out faster than a dog in heat,
I'm not lying.

Okay-okay you win, said the vile beast of a man. With his hands held
high, he walked slowly in reverse, thus offering me the leeway to get to Harmony. I then holstered my gun and began walking over toward her.
Are you all right, I asked before hearing that same familiar sound coming from behind me. The sound of a Colt hammer cocking. We don't have to do this, I said anxiously at the unrelenting figure whose face was now half shadowed by the rays of the sun. Oh, but we do said the sheriff grinning wryly through his rotting brown teeth, that looked like a row of Indian corn. All gnarly and full of holes were they and this man, nothing but a lowdown scourge. As I backed up, the sheriff began firing, but I moved like a jitterbug and escaped every shot! Now I thought to myself,
it's my turn.

I really love that about dreams.
If you're confident enough, you can outlive even death!

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I then withdrew my pistol and said, Goodbye sheriff. I aimed at the man's left eye and fired but the shot went through his forehead and came clean out the other side. There the shell casing traveled into a bottle of whiskey on the old fashioned display counter, shattering it and exploding its contents everywhere!

Just then an old timer comes in and shuffles over to the blackboard. The blackboard is situated near the piano, in the far left corner of the room by the bathroom. He uses the eraser and then writes 8,957 while continually rolling both lips over his gums for he had no teeth. If you don't mind me askin,' just what is it you're doin'? "My job. See, I'm the town writer an
n'is nummer here tells ya how many peoples been shot dead d'is year."
How long you been doing this job? "Since I'm is twelve." How old are
you now? "Hunnert-tuo. I'm is due for retirement in anudder a-teen years,
but no one's ever lived t'se it!" What do you get for retirement? "Bottle-a-booze!" He walks away slow. As I moved in to examine Harmony's bruise, she pulled her arm back hard! "Get the hell away from me! Why don't you go back to where ever it is you came from!!!" A man put his hand on my shoulder as he chewed his tobacco and spat the juice on my new boots. "Killed the girl's daddy, that's cold. Best be ridin' outta here before the sun sets, and it's movin." I'm sorry, I didn't know! "Don't apologize to me, juss go." The look of horror in her eyes and the pain etched on her face chilled me to the very core of my soul. I exited that saloon through the swinging doors and found the sun to be hot. Too
hot for it was scorching. As I stood beside a withered hitching post, I screamed before punching it repeatedly! That was all I could remember.

When I awoke and looked out my window, I saw a sheet of pure virgin snow covering the street. Like an immaculate blanket had been laid
down while I was sleeping. What a beautiful sight to behold! I could see Harmony from the top of my window, bundled up like a cute little Eskimo girl and shoveling by the side of her house. I waved to her as I was getting into my mother's old black Rambler, and she waved back at me smiling. For some reason, I just seemed to stand there. "Today Charlie Brown" said my mother impatiently. All right, all right, I muttered. That was my nickname from Mother, I guess she thought it was cute.

As we pulled out of the snow and proceeded to make a u-turn, my eyes caught the top of Mrs. Devoy's house. That old TV antenna has weathered many storms. Just to know that it's there; that it will always be there is enough to ease my mind. Just think, how many different ones are out there? God, there are so many shapes and sizes too! Who puts them together? Some were huge and intricately defined with hundreds of little metal sticks coming out of the main extension bar, and others were quite simple. For the rest of the car ride, I would gaze up at various rooftops to see what types of antennas adorned the sky. . . Some were magnificent!

I was let off near the New Dorp station as usual where I waited for my daily school bus. I sat next to a kid named Joey as I did every day. A kid who I was soon to name "Joey the ant." I removed the small picture of Harmony from my wallet that she had given to me last year. As I was looking at her image and admiring it, I was rudely interrupted.

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Who is that, asked Joey in a smug manner, your girlfriend? Making a face by pulling his lips to one side. "If she was my girlfriend, do you think I would be sitting next to you?" He punched me in the arm, and I punched him back for that is what children do. Till later my love, I thought with eyes closed while silently imagining all the luscious things we were going to do to each other later on. Before I even got off the bus, I was yearning for her. I had the craving but needed to keep it under wraps. Soon we were in school, where the sound of squeaky boots on new waxed floors seemed to override everything else. The furnace in the basement was continually being fed huge shovelful's of coal and that in itself was keeping us warm. Since time can recall I loved the snow and could never seem to get enough of it. For hours, I'd watch as it fell by the window. Ms. Ellis didn't seem to mind me drifting away. She knew I was absorbing the lesson.

The snow falling down would somehow alleviate my worries,
making everything in my world a little bit calmer. Much
like a relaxing tonic would aid in curing ennui.

At around twelve forty, an announcement came over the school intercom telling us that we would going home early today. The sound of excitable children could be heard up and down every corridor throughout the entire building! The school seemed to have gotten darker for the lights now appeared brighter in the hallways. As we left to get on the bus, the snow was coming down heavier than it was before! Judging from the sky that seemed to be painted a bright tangerine color, I could see no sign of it stopping anytime soon. The bus let me off at my cousin's house, and I stayed with them for awhile before sloshing down the street to the house where my girlfriend resided. I used my key, even though I knew she was home.

Hey, she said with bloodshot eyes in a tired sounding way, you're back from school early today. Yeah, they let us go. She came up to me and planted a sweet smoky kiss on my lips and tongue. I felt so proud and so happy to be loved by this angel that I would do almost anything she asked. I then noticed her fingernails had been neatly manicured and painted! Did you do this for me? I asked, feeling overly complaisant. She threw both eyebrows up high and fast as my heart stammered! That is a beautiful color, I declared! "You like?" she asked full of smiles and clouded by love. As she stood there with both arms outstretched, I was better
able to examine the nails on each hand.

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The color was a deep burgundy that perfectly intermingled with the purple that it had more of! "You're not going to pass out on me again are you?" she asked as if wanting to see it. I might, I said to her astonishment! Lovingly, she put both hands into the folds of my armpits and braced herself. "Then go ahead, cause I've got you." I released myself with a
sigh and we both laughed! She then lifted me off the ground with her
two hands still tucked firmly under my armpits and held me up to Heaven.
At that very Instant in time, it honestly felt like God had given us his full blessing! I then wrapped my legs around her waist and gave her a kiss so warm and tender, I would think about it Sunday evening as I lie awake in bed, gently caressing the pillow I imagined to be her face. Why do we have to be apart, I'd ask myself before placing my small hand on the frozen window? Tears streaming down my face and neck. It hurt to be apart from her, it was my torment but everyday I lived, I got a little bit older till the day when nobody cares anymore. As she put me down,
I took her left hand and kissed it, like I was a high society gentleman courting in a social setting. I could not believe it, but I had just
made her blush!


If only I could have expressed to you my heart, my sweet love.
The way I was feeling inside my very soul. The way you
were making me feel, you would have wept with joy.

And if only I could have given you all you were worthy of possessing, I would have given you a small country;
and then knelt down before you.


The snow was falling pretty heavy when I said, I better go outside
and shovel. "I'll come with you!" I shoveled her walkway, her driveway and her front steps while she caught snowflakes in her gloves and twirled about happily. As I watched her behave like a little girl in a blizzard,
I found myself enamored by her beauty. I could not seem to get enough
of her. No matter what I did or where I was, I was literally thinking about
her all the time! In my heart, I was yearning to be by her side forever.
I knew she had just finished smoking that "funny stuff" judging from the way she smelled, and by the way she acted. It was okay though, cause
she still treated me like I was the only guy on the planet. A heavy gust of
wind blew the top layer of snow from a neighboring house straight into
our faces. She threw her gloved hands up and screamed out in excitement!
I wanted at that very moment to kiss her so badly that I asked her if she wanted to go back inside. No matter how much shoveling I did, after I
was finished it still looked like I did nothing anyway! This was partly
due to the fact that it was like fine powder.

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For the next twenty four hours, the snow would come down in bushels, and tonight I would be staying over. My parents needed some alone
time to sort things out and asked Harmony if it would be a burden.
Are you kidding, she said, he can stay with me anytime! Thank God
they didn't catch that little blunder! She should have said us, not me.
That was the closest we ever came to getting busted. As we entered
the house, the wind kicked up and would not let me close the door!
With two red faces burning, I put my hands to her waist, and we kissed.
I helped her remove her coat, and she assisted me in taking off my boots. We sat in the living room with the lights off and held each other as we watched the precipitation fall in the form of a billion snowflakes. How romantic and beautiful this scene must have looked. Often, I would
replay it in my mind behind a thousand tears.

There are two songs I have found to be so hauntingly moving they cannot be played. On this very Christmas night by Trans Siberian Orchestra is the first. If I should have the misfortune of being out somewhere toward Christmastime and that song comes over the airwaves, it's all over. So clearly do I feel the emotions build while listening to this song it is almost frightening. As it plays, memories present themselves to me in such a way, it is almost impossible for me not to come apart. Marigot Bay by Arabesque is the other. This one is not as powerful as the first, but still, should you listen to the lyrics of this song you will understand my dilemma. If I'm alone I'll play it, just to torture myself with what I've lost.

Later on that evening Harmony made eighteen fried empanadas. They
were formed by rolling corn flour into medium circles. Inside this went
the ground pork, vegetables, eggs. When they were all pinched closed,
they were deep fried. After they cooled, I put some on one and bit into it. Those sauteed onions made the juice gush out and run down my face! They were out of this world!!! "Don't eat too many, they're only an appetizer." For the main course, my honey made sobrebarriga from the most succulent of skirt steaks, only because the flank steaks were gone.
It couldn't have tasted any better had it been prepared by the world's top chef, and I ate like a king! For dessert, she unveiled a lavish coconut
cake that was in the process of coming out of the oven as the school announcement was being made known. Harmony called this cake "torta
de coco" and my mouth watered! An ambrosial white cake with grated coconut shavings on top! Vibrantly, she cut a more than generous portion of the luscious cake, before setting it down in front of me! I wanted to submit it as an entry for the yearly Betty Crocker baking contest. You just send them a picture along with the recipe and then wait for a response. Harmony would take first prize!

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You make my mom's cooking taste like garbage! She laughed loudly
at my remark. "You are so bad! And I, know how to cook everything. Think about that the next time you look at Ursula down the street. Not only can I cook everything, but I can see everything too." She then winked at me with a mixture of both jealousy and lust. My hands started tingling, and I found it a bit difficult to breathe. Are you going to spank me? She thought about it and had a quizzical expression on her face. Remember, the key? "Oh my God, are you still thinking about that?" I began to feel terribly embarrassed, and so I turned my eyes away from Harmony, where I felt equally ashamed. She smiled as she reached across the table. With both hands clasped firmly to my one hand, she spoke. "If ever, there is anything you feel you need from me, all you have to do is ask. I will not say no to you, and I promise, I won't judge you for it." O-kay I said nervously, feeling kind of jittery inside.

"Have you been a bad boy?" I nodded my head. "Do you think I
should punish you?" Yes. "If you want me to stop, you'll have to say Honeyplease, or you're going to be redder than a beet in mid August!
Let's go wash up." From there we went straight into the living room.
As we approached the couch, she immediately changed into someone
else, and I wasn't quite sure what had just happened.

"So tell me, how many people have you told about us?" I never told anyone, I swear. You know that! "Did I give you permission to open
your mouth?" No, I said timidly. "You just did it again" she said,
slapping her hands together so loud I jumped!!! She grabbed me by
my shirt collar and brought her face close to mine. "If you ever talk
back to me again, I'm going to slap you in the fucking mouth! Nod if
you understand me. Good." I was confused by the very harsh tone in
her voice. The seriousness of it implied danger, and I started to become worried. She slapped my leg hard, and It stung. She slapped my thigh harder, and it burned. Then, she pulled my shirt up and slapped the side
of my ribs so hard it echoed through the house! I looked at her in sheer
terror as a tear came out on its own and another followed. It was like nothing I thought it would be. There was so much stinging in each slap that I couldn't hold in my tears. "Don't cry my love, we're just role playing. If you stop now you'll never be able to go back. Are you sure that's what you want to do?" I'm not sure (((very long pause))) Okay, I'm ready.
The thought of her stopping was so confusing to my senses that it
became almost unfathomable, yet the thought of her continuing
filled me with anticipation and dreaded fear. It was almost like I
wanted her beautiful fingers imprinted all over my entire body!

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After a few more slaps, Harmony put her left hand around my throat
and the hand that was abusing me on my face. It felt hot. She moved
her fingers around my nose and cheek as though it were a gentle massage, then up to where my eyes were. She rolled the tips of her index and middle finger on my left eyelid before moving her index finger in and under, where it came to rest directly upon the exposed layer of the eyeball. It burned
like the tip of a match head and once again, I broke down and cried.
Even though she only kept it there for about three long seconds.

At this very moment in time, I no longer trusted her and frankly,
I was becoming very afraid of her.

"Easy baby easy" she said in a reassuring tone while fluctuating back
and forth from passive to aggressive. I must say, as terrified as I was I
was still somehow aroused. I just didn't want this thing to get out of hand. To a point where I ceased to be able to control it. Let's stop now she said, we shouldn't be doing this. No, said the voice in my head aloud! Oh no
I thought as the lifeboat drifted away, and I was slowly lowered back
into the shark filled waters.

Harmony continued where she left off, now massaging my chin and jaw. As she began to massage my lips, she spoke like an authority figure in
an ultra stern voice. "Just a little friendly word of advice. If your tongue should accidentally touch any of my fingers, I will beat you so soundly that people will hear it on the next block. Look at my hand! See how red
it is, and we haven't even started yet. I could slap you around the house until the sun comes up if I wanted to!"

"Dare me! Go on!!!"

I was trying so hard to be strong. To be someone she could one day
look up to, but I didn't know how to control myself, so I began squirming.
In my pants however, I had an erection the size of Texas, and it felt like a fire hose that needed to put out a three alarm blaze! Because I didn't want it to start going off prematurely, I was afraid even to touch it, it was that sensitive. Like a teacher disciplining an unruly student, I was pulled to
my feet by my ear! Harmony then proceeded to unbuckle my pants by allowing them to fall to the floor. Next she pulled my underwear down, letting them fall, to where they came to rest around my ankles. I was then told in an impassive tone to stand still and not move an inch. My penis was so hyperextended that Harmony could have probably balanced her foot on it to change a light bulb! Within minutes, my penial muscle felt more like a very sensitive bone that could quite easily be broken if she twisted it the wrong way. She looked at me like a robotic human machine, and it really wounded me inside that she could turn her love on and off for me like that. As Harmony brought her face closer to my throbbing organ, my heart felt like it was going to explode! Until at last, she was
but a breath away.

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Then she opened her mouth and began to come even closer still.
About halfway in she stopped, when it gently made contact with the back of her throat. Never at any time did her lips, teeth or tongue ever touch it. She then drew her head back slowly and closed her mouth. Watching her tease me like that made my testes hurt! After this, she wrapped her hand around my pulsating organ, and it nearly reacted!

I could no longer breathe right for I was so "turned on,"
my balls disappeared and my peanut sack turned into
what can only be described as a leather prune!

Please-please, I screamed in desperation, I can't hold it anymore!!!

My poor penis felt like it was going to break out of its thin sausage casing. So intense was this throbbing pain, that I kept thinking it was going to burst open! As she fondled my tight scrotum, which felt the same as it would have, had it been soaking in ice water for an hour, Harmony told
me to close my eyes and brace myself. For what, I thought? Whap!!!
She slapped it so hard it almost flew off!

"Yeowwwwwww!!!" I screamed out in pain, but as I looked at it,
I was amazed to find it going down. "How?" She looked at me,
and I immediately withdrew into hiding.

What a bummer. My lover just murdered my penis.
It was completely numb and burning and I was sure
it would never work right again. I was screwed to high heaven
because Harmony really liked it. She loved holding it and playing with it. Sometimes she would even talk to it before she kissed it. Then she would make love to it with her tongue.

Within a matter of seconds it was as dead a Libby's Vienna sausage pulled from it's cool broth with light green cocktail toothpick.

I simply could not fathom what just transpired.

She then took my hand and forced me to lay across her lap. "So, tell me about Ursula!" There's nothing to tell. She brought her hand down hard across my buttocks and let it rest there for a few seconds before moving
it around. "Don't say there's nothing to tell. I see the way you look at her." But it's just a look. SLAP! Owwww! "Do you want to touch her the way you touch me?" No, of course not! "Liar" SLAPP!!! Please, you're killing me! "How does it feel, to know a woman is beating you? Making you cry like a little baby? Hmmmm? Does it make you feel helpless or does it make you feel like a real (CRACK!!!) man!" Ooooh, you're hurting me too much!!!

Every slap was getting stronger and my emotions were going berserk.

She must have felt it getting bigger again because she questioned me
about it. "What is this, I am starting to feel on my leg? Is Pinocchio
telling another one of his many awful lies again?" Crack! "Aw, did you
forget the magic word? Too bad" SLAP!!! "Now I really, really want to know what you are thinking of in that little mind of yours. Speak-to-me!"

I'm thinking about. . . I don't know what I'm thinking about.

"You're lying to me." I'm not lying to you! "Then what are you thinking about?" Nothing! WHAPP!!! This really hurts!!! It hurt's so bad!!!
"Then, you know what you have to say." I won't!!! Crack! "Now say it!" No! Crack!!! "I said say it!" Never!!! Slap-slap-slap! These were almost tame in comparison to the others. Nevertheless, my poor little ass felt like it was being branded by a searing hot skillet!!!

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Immediately, Harmony brought her free hand to where my face was
on the couch. She rolled her thumb around the contours of my lips
before working it into my mouth. This was followed by a slap that
would have instantly numbed a man's face! I cried out in pain, over
an elegantly tapered thumb my tongue was currently resting on,
but she grabbed the back of my hair pulling it hard!

"I-want my-thumb sucked!"

"You did it before and you did it real good,
now do it again, and with feeling" she said venomously,
as if she were somehow talking over her own teeth.

I couldn't help but hesitate for that slap was still ringing out into my flesh and biting deeply, down to my very bones! "If you don't listen to every word I say, I am going to drive it so deep inside your tender little body, you will cry like an infant, and I promise you, I won't take it out for an hour! Wanna test me? That's better."

It was so well defined and exquisitely perfect for a female extremity that I took pleasure in doing it. The same way I took pleasure in wrapping my tongue around hers or gently nibbling an ear. Even licking in and about her belly button or up and down the soles of her feet. Nothing was perverse in love and no act, too licentious. For other couples maybe, but not us.

Not only was her external beauty encaptivating,
but her personality and wit, charming!

That's it, she said, and when I get tired of you cleaning my thumb, I have four other fingers that are in need of a good tongue cleaning as well! I did as she said and could hear her moaning and rubbing herself ever so gently. I then took her hand by the base of the palm and slowly pulled her thumb from my mouth. It was then I spoke. . .

I'm sorry I looked at Ursula; sometimes I watch her as she goes by.
She wiggles her butt at me, and I smile.

Quickly, and instinctively Harmony turned my head toward hers
and for a brief moment, I saw that dire look in her eyes as the ball bounced to my side of the court. It was there, I gave her a subtle wink!

"You little bitch!"
"You're getting off on this!!!"

(((Laughing and tickling me all over)))

Well I'm not done interrogating you yet!"

She then moved her wet thumb around my lips saying "catch it,
it's getting away. Don't lose it or I'll do the unspeakable!"
I felt like a fish trying to bait its own hook!
Eventually, I got it. . .

"So, you like her ass now!"
Whack!!!

"You like the way she wiggles it for you?"
WHAPP!!!!!!

"When I slap her across her face, it's going to sound a lot like..." SLAP!!!!!!!!!

She must have had that hand on the ceiling because
when I tell you that I had no feeling in my ass for a week,
I mean I had no-feeling in-my-ass for-a-week!
I can still feel it! Honeyplease, I cried out repeatedly!!!

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