The puzzle of perception


John decided we should go into the backyard for a spell, so I sat on
the bench while he lay in his synthetic recliner. Gazing about the
yard was strange for everything around me was now unrelated to
itself, as if every object was meant to be viewed separately.

I looked up at the plain railing set into the brick steps that led from the kitchen to the backyard. From there I saw, quite naturally, the illusory image of four fish in animated form displaying themselves to me. Wait, they now appear to look like Chinese scissors! The stygian rail painted
a silhouette against the house, much to the likes of a nocturnal shadow which had been burned into the air. This was partially due to the configuration of the wrought iron itself, which in an odd kind of way, seemed to resemble origami that had been abandoned by a child in the flower of her youth somewhere in the latter half of the eighteenth century.

The bricks going down the steps were off, in the sense that the top
row was very far away; as if seen through the reverse end of a pair of binoculars, while the bottom was simply one big fat line that converged
to form an elephants toe. Clumsy and foolish are these bricks that now
seem so content to be immersed in contrived animation! They would
go as far as to puff themselves out in disguise to look like over stated
piano keys.

The white picket fence, however, I found to be threatening and could
not look at it for fear of something dreadful happening. Why was this?
It felt like Halloween night with a stalker on the prowl. He had crossed
an unseen border which separated science from mythology and was
now, somewhere in the vicinity of our neighborhood lurking about.

Something got out, I thought. Keep it under control or panic will set in.
I felt as though I had acutely developed a keen sense of intuition, and it
was now warning me that I was in extreme danger. For some undefinable reason, I was totally unable to eradicate this feeling of doom that had
taken hold of me. I tried to remove it from my conscious mind by
playing the 'psychology game' but would find even that did not work.

A tiny creature hatched in my brain
and took form through a pinhole in my awareness.

I found it very difficult to fathom that something so innocuous as a
fence had just manufactured a killer. Wait, he's in the house!!! As I
further analyzed the problem, I soon came to realize that my mind
had, in fact, turned on me. I was now an unwilling participant in a melodramatic horror movie, and the emotions of terror I was now experiencing were to such a degree, I felt I may very soon be in need
of medical assistance. I knew it was nothing more than a simple case of mind over matter, but I just couldn't arrest it! Most of all, I needed to remain calm and vigilant, if I was going to beat this thing. I didn't know how the human brain operated, but I should have. It was my only mistake.

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How unnerving was this feeling that someone was behind me
and at any given moment I was going to get japped! Then, in my
dismay I would spin around to find no one there. Every time this happened, I anticipated a theater full of people on the edge of their
seats! They were watching me from the big sky screen, so I could
only sense their eyes upon me. I tried to act cool, because I knew
they were watching and that helped a bit, but when I looked
about, it felt as though I were awaiting a massacre.

The last thing I needed, was to come down from this trip in a state of terror. Then, not only would I  have to worry about a flashback for the next seven years, but also, the dreaded fear of it returning if ever I should become paranoid from smoking pot. There was no doubt about it, I had to come down from this high with a yearning to take it again, because
the alternative was madness.

I thought of a movie, I saw last year, and decided, since I had an
audience, to become someone else. Slowly, I began to emulate a man known as Snake Plissken. A man incapable of fear! As I moved around the yard with a renewed sense of confidence, I could feel the tension building. With fists clenched and motor skills like a sensei, I was ready!

There was nothing out there as far as the eye could see,
but a schizophrenic emotion run amok.

I was experiencing the fear as though it were relevant, and underneath
it all, I was becoming very much concerned. In my foolish quest to
tinker with unbridled power and use it for my own advantage,
it seems I have encountered a small glitch.

Then, from out of nowhere a little girl in a very sincere voice spoke aloud in my head. "It's only a fence" (and) "Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?" She then went on to comfort me with words such as "think of flowers in a field or water. . . Water helps." So sweet and kind was this child of nature, who I remembered from the craquelure painting of my youth. There was an alarm clock on a very long table in a room where the child was now standing, nothing else. The clock seemed as though it were trying to go
off but couldn't for it was swelling fast and in an uneven manner. I knew
now that the clock was going to explode!  Wanting no harm done to the girl, I took hold of the situation and transported her to a train leaving for
an unknown destination. I could not watch her die and would have put
myself before the explosion, should I have had to. She waved to me
with her arm out the window but was semi obscured in the fog. She spoke a few words, but I could no longer hear her voice. I was now becoming teary-eyed as I thought of that painting and all that was lost in time.

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I could see that she was smiling as a young girl would smile, but I could also see that she really didn't want to go. She had to, for the sake of all things well. The train rolled off into the distance and all that was left
behind were thick layers of a hazy mist. *She was safe now
and that is all that mattered*

I then realized, I had controlled the situation! The little girl who appeared to me briefly showed me that. Thank you, I muttered to the rustling of
tree branches, as if speaking through an opening in Heaven's gate.

How grateful was I, to the physiological axioms which define biology!

What it all boils down to is simple. We are nothing more than flesh
and blood people. Living and toiling because someone wished to
put us here. They could have flushed us down the toilet or pulled
us out with a wire hanger, but no, they chose to love us. . .

I then remembered where I saw that fence! It was in a low budget
horror film I had seen a while back. I tried to remember the name,
but it would not come to me. Ever notice when the lights are adjusted
in a certain way and the music starts creeping in, as the movie begins
to build, you can almost sense the fear while you are watching?
Even if no one is there and nothing will ever happen! In other words, sometimes the anticipation is greater than the expected. If you can
find what's causing the fear, the fear will go away. So long as
it's only fear and not two arms reaching out at you!

There was no threat of anything now and how relieved I was to know this!

A problem can only be solved by finding its solution, but to lose a child
or loved one, the issue may never be resolved and may drive people
to commit unspeakable acts. As for me, I no longer wished to be a participant in this life but merely an observer, for in my heart, I knew
I would never be able to find any resolve in that particular area.

I looked down at the weeds in the yard nearby, and it appeared that I was in Missouri. Never at any time, did an object materialize in front of me,
nor did anyone just magically appear and offer to take me on a magic
carpet ride! Only the very aspect of the environment had changed.

I was looking through eyes that weren't my own;
I was gaining a different perspective.

Everything was relative in the order that it was now being processed.
I knew the consequences of my actions and the results that would follow for any discriminating behavior on my part, whether it be lewd or mischievous, violent or anarchic, or any other form of wrong doing, for that matter. Wherefore, I would expect the same from any individual
under the present circumstance.
 
Be aware of your surroundings.
Know your enemies.
Raise no sword.
Observe.

These are the four basic rules of the game. Follow them,
and you should make it through unscathed. Caution was the key,
and I slowly got myself out of a very tense and alarming situation.

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